The Monsters Sleep

SSSSHHHHHHHHHHH..... Internet, you are never going to believe this, but BOTH my little monsters are asleep right now. And its noon. Oh, and Elliott has not taken a nap in over 3 months.

I guess I shouldn't be too surprised, as not much sleeping has been happening in these parts for the last 3 nights. Of course, life with a 3 week old has its ups and down in the sleeping department, so there is not much of a surprise there. But Elliott has some sort of viral infection, complete with nondescript symptoms and a high fever which has had her halucinating frequently in the middle of the night. Of course, Murphy's Law rules, so they are on alternating nightime waking schedules, alternating about every other hour.

Yea! Having kids is FUN!

And, I spoke too soon. Elliott is up, time to check temps, give fluids and try and convince her to eat some food.

For now, -over and out-

Where reality and parenthood meet... One day at a Time

Indeed, Dear Internet, you already have been hipped to the addition to the family. Frankie Jane Carter made her debut a mere 2 weeks and 2 days ago. Since then, my time has been spent breastfeeding and trying to sleep... both of which are going relatively well all things considered. I have to admit, however, that somewhere in the last 4 years of living with Elliott, I became quite accustomed to the ease with which our lives revolved. Elliott is such a loving, understanding, and unique little spirit... fairly even tempered, usually a good listener, and a great sleeper. Even with her naps ending abruptly about 2 1/2 months ago, things have maintained an even keel around here. So my first 4 days home with a non-sleeping, hungry, crying, pooping very cute infant had me wandering around my house and wondering What the Fuck did I just Do?

I think it was all the hormones.

Don't get me wrong, I am totally and completely in love with this new bundle, and I welcome her place in this new family dynamic, and I can see that she is growing and changing each day. But I do look forward to building a more consistent routine and finding more of my stride with this thing. Its amazing the amount of baby information you forget as your 1st born moves so far away from those days and becomes a little (somewhat) self-sufficient person.

So I am moving through these days one day at a time, a little calmer, a little more confidant than the last time, and once again trying not to screw up any of the important things. Which these days basically pertains to feeding, diapering and burping... round the clock, not too much to screw up yet. I'll keep you posted.

In Other News:

Tonight Kris opens for one of my favorites, Hamell on Trial at the Beachland in Cleveland. Some of you might remember that when Elliott was just over 4 weeks old, Kris and I went to see Hamell at The Knitting Factory in Hollywood courtesy of Grandy's babysitting skills and some pumped breast milk. Well, for 2 weeks I have been debating pumping again and leaving these children at home so that I wouldn't miss the show I have been waiting for for all these years... (that is to say, Kris finally opening a show for Hamell.) Well, the hard part of parenting is that I have to suck it up and stay home. Frankie is just a little to young I feel to leave her, and since its so early in the game of breastfeeding, I thought it wise to stay away from bottles for a little while longer to hopefully prevent any issues in the near future with how she gets her food.

Kid, you better be worth it. LOL.

So far, the only shows (within reason) that I have missed due to parenthood have been tonight, and a Twilight Singers show in 2003. On the night before Thanksgiving 2003, standing ticket in hand outside the Wilturn in Los Angeles, I walked away from seeing my ultimate favorite Greg Dulli perform because that morning I had just found out I was pregnant, the next day we were leaving for Playa Saldamondo, Mexico for a Vegan-Thanksgiving-Beach Camping Adventure.

Standing there, wanting my life to go on as normal, all I could think was: "Holy Shit. I'm Pregnant." So I walked away from the crowd, got in the car and drove home. We still left for Mexico the next morning, and I vomited off and on the whole weekend, and fate was totally sealed. Ready or not, I was becoming a parent 1 day in.

So, here's to another year of building a foundation, for Frankie Jane and for me. Hopefully I am trading tonight for a video of the show, maybe a shout out from Hamell, and, if god is smiling upon us, a good night's sleep.

-over and out-

2 more days and nothing but snow

It's been snowing for like 4 days or so now, and its hitting around the 7 in mark I do believe. I honestly don't mind the snow too much, until it starts to get in the way of being able to do anything. And I will admit, I have not been fully prepared for winter like weather due to the fact I was SURE I would be out of maternity clothing and back into my own wardrobe and winter coats by now.

But No.

I am stretching the limits of not only my closet, but have been borrowing hoodies and sweatshirts from friends and family to make up for the fact that I have greatly underestimated not only the weather this time around, but the length of my pregnancy as well. I know the gray hoodie is not the most attractive thing.... but seriously, you want to talk to me about fashion at a time like this? Its 29 degrees outside, I have no coat that covers my stomach, and am currently 4 days OVERDUE with a rather large child, and you want to discuss the clothing I am currently living in? Something is telling me that a few people around here (read: fer, yucca) seem to have lost their damn minds. ;-)

Wed I had yet another Dr. appointment to check how things are going in my overly-full belly, only to find that indeed there is some progress being made, but its s-l-o-w. Better than nothing, and if mother nature does not take off this weekend, then come Monday morning, I will be meeting my Dr at the hospital and an official eviction will take place. Which leads me to the question: Why do they schedule inductions so ungodly early? We have to be at the hospital to check in at 5:45am. That's the middle of the night if you ask me. And you want me to be up, awake, showered and ready to willingly start labor at that time? I will be surprised if I can even keep some breakfast down... my body will still be in sleeping mode, not eating mode. What the hell...

But, at least I know there is an official time cap on this thing, and that is the one tidbit that is keeping me from losing my own damn mind.

In Other News:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WAYNE! It's "Our" Wayne's birthday and we will be headed out to Medina tonight to celebrate with some good food and a warm fire. (as long as this snow lets up) Ellie and I will be baking a fresh cranberry pie instead of cake... I'll let you know how it turns out!

-over and out-

November 17 hath come and gone

Hello... is there anybody out there? Just nod if you can hear me....

Its been 11 months since I took to blogging. 3 years of regular communication with you, Dear Internet, and then I vanish. I have no excuse, except for life getting in the way. Parenting, more house repairs, and few killer trips/vacations, oh... and the getting knocked up again sometime around my birthday. I think you all knew that by now, what with all the pics of me with a giant belly floating through the ether.


This is pretty much what's happening now... Freaky. Taken on Sunday, the day before my due date. 40 freaking weeks of carrying child number 2, whom shall be named Frankie Jane Carter. That is, if and when she ever gets the F out here.

I have been ready to go and get this labor thing over with for 2 weeks now... waiting and waiting and waiting. Nothing. Contractions here and there... but nothing.

Elliott, who all of a sudden started calling herself a big sister in early March before I knew I was knocked up, who swore up and down from the getgo it was going to be another girl, (no option what-so-ever that it was a boy) repeatedly said that Frankie would come when it snows. And I won't lie, it freaked me out a little considering last week it was 60 and sunny here for multiple days in a row. But yesterday, it snowed a little, and then a little more, and this morning we awoke to a complete winter wonderland. 2-3 inches of light, powdery, fluffy-ass snow and NO FREAKING BABY.

And this time I will not be afraid to have my labor jump-started if need be. So kid, let this be fair warning, I am giving you and mother nature 5 more days to complete your task on your own, and then you are out, come hell or high water. Besides, you're already 8lbs, WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!?!?

In Other News:

I am going to try and take to this blogging thing again more regularly (if anyone still cares) and we will see where it takes us again.

Oh, and Yucca, ask me again: "What, no baby today?" and see what happens. I dare you...
;-)

-over and out-

Hello 2008!

She goes, she comes back, she goes again.

Hello, dear internet. How is 2008 treating you thus far?

My oh my, I have so many things to share with you since we last met. And you wonder why I have not stopped by to fill you in, if there are so many developments, don't you.... Well, my internet has been broken for 2 weeks, thanks to the ineptitude of AT&T, and our digital camera broke for good just before Christmas, so that meant no blogging or photo blogging.

And if its been awhile since you last had to stay updated with your friends and family via the free computers at your local library I highly recommend you try it.... it's extremely humbling. But for now, let's get to the nitty gritty.

On the New Year Front:
We spent NYE hanging out and playing Guitar Hero III for Wii. Amazing. Just as addictive as they say it is. Good thing Santa found that last one at Target, or Christmas might have been ruined. Oh, and I am not one to make New Year resolutions, but I did decide to give up alcohol for Jan, if not possibly more... I'll see how it rolls. It seems so much less drastic than my Sister's Raw Vegan 30 day diet for the new year, which she is writing about here. I am super proud of her, especially since she found my "food combining" so "interesting" (read: strange) for all those years. ;-)

On the Home Improvement Front:
The 1.2 bath renovation is absolutely completed. It has been for some time, but I can't remember if I told you about it. From the floor to the ceiling and everything in between, everything is new. And so worth it. And having taken a few months off, Kris and I were bitten by the improvement bug over New Years weekend and decided to at least give our kitchen a facelift while we save the money to gut it completely. But the facelift turned out so great, I hardly mind the kitchen at all now, so we may just get new counters and ceiling. (if we can pull it off) It amazes me every time what a difference some fresh paint makes. (full pictures coming this weekend).

On the Personal Development Front:
We (quite a few family & friends) donated our time (and some $$) to a local woman & children's shelter last weekend and helped to spruce things up a bit. We brought some cheer for the kids by way of an art contest and dance/sing along, while the rest of us battled it out and painted 2 family bedrooms. It was a good time, and I had forgotten how great it feels to volunteer. Its gonna become a regular thing for us, and there is even talk of creating a non-profit, so I am sure you will hear more about this in the coming months. (And if you want to hear a more detailed account of the activities and how it all came about, check here.)

On the Work Front:
Going well at work and on my side work. I just began as the writing esthetician for a skin care line, and I am super excited. Check it out.

On the Home Front:
Quite a few things have been falling into place for us these days. Akron just seems to evolve as we need it to and watching it all unfold is so interesting. Life overall has become easier in the past months and we are finding our stride. Our house feels like home, and I realize that next month will already mark our 1yr anniversary of moving into this big old drafty house. So many things change, so many stay the same. Maybe its finally time to have that housewarming party I keep talking about. Ha ha.

In looking back on the past year, I realized that I have been leaving out a few important details of our life since we moved here. Some of you were updated in private about this, and some not. Sorry about that, but i just didn't know really what to say.

In May 2007 Kris and I made a very difficult decision regarding our dearly loved and somewhat infamous pooch Lilah. If you ask Elliott, Lilah went to live with old dogs, on an old dog farm where she can chase squirrels all day long. I don't know if you have ever seen an animal have a mental breakdown, but to the best of my knowledge and ability, that is precisely what happened. It unfolded slowly at first, around the time we moved, and quickly got out of hand by April. Who knows what caused it, more moving (#3 for her), the lack of Kris in the first few months, health or just the combination of it all, but she made herself clear, and we felt we had to help her out.

Since then, I have been lonely. She left a big hole that I knew there was no point in trying to fill. And let me tell you, a pet-free house is a quiet house indeed. Too quiet. But we grieve, adjust and move along. With pictures of her around, and conversation of her often. Maybe we'll even have another baby now that there's no fear of it being eaten (wink, wink).

And here we are...... I thought for sure the next animal we got would be another dog, but I believe life gives you what you need, and a few days ago it brought us Bob. Mister Bob Clayman Carter. Or Bobbie the Wondercat as Elliott likes to call him. He is somewhere between 10&14 years of age, orange haired, super chill and loveable. He was left orphaned after Mr. Akron's passing... and we just couldn't have watched this story unfold any other way. Death leaves such gaping holes for all of us, but my realization is the patchwork can be done in myriad ways for all of us.

After only 2 days here, Bob has investigated the entire house except for the basement. Is eating well and making noise and playing with his toys. Yesterday he followed me all around the house, and curled up on the couch while Kris & I watched some tv. This guy.... he's the perfect fit, and exactly what I didn't know I was looking for.

In Other News:
Because of the writer's strike and no new "real" television I have gotten hooked on the return of American Gladiators. Do yourself a favor and watch it. The Eliminator competition at the end of each show is SO WORTH IT. I can't remember the last time I have laughed as hard at tv.

I also watched the series premiere of Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. The exact opposite of hilarious... it is horrendous, graphic and so, so sad and absolutely captivating. I will be watching this one to the end, but I'll need my The A.G.'s to balance it out. I give some props to VH1 for not copping out on this one and putting it all in your face. We'll see how it continues.

BTW, if there are no writers in Hollywood... who's writing for the soaps? Anyone? just curious.

-over and out-

What you resist, persists

Or so I've been told. And I can see that to be true, in most regards. So with that notion in mind, last friday night Elliott gave up all the poms. No more, not one. And I stood over the garbage can with all those brightly colored little baby bits in my hand and had one fleeting thought...... maybe I should hold onto just one.... keep it in a safe place, just like I used to have my cigarettes every single time I quit... just in case.

You know... your just in case stash. Everyone has something. Something to eat, smoke, drink, savor. Well, I relished the moment, and then turned my palm and slammed the lid closed. What I resist may persist, but I will not share that yet with my 3 year old. I think that's something she will have to figure out on her own.

So, almost 1 week, pom free. Mostly casualty-free as well. The only problem is the napping thing, seems she just won't do it at school. I could worry about it, but thats what I pay them the big bucks for.

In Other News:

I've been sad for a few weeks now.... Mister Akron passed away and I thought I would have something to say about it by now. But I don't have anything to say. Its just sad and horrible, tragic and untimely, plain and simple, that's that. So Marky, there is no way to fill your space. And it was totally and completely awesome to know you. So...... Thanks.

-over and out-

The Glory of the Pom

Dear Internets,

Today was an interesting Parental day round here... and I just thought I would take the time to share. If I don't remember to post these inane things, then there will be no record of the goings on when my senility kicks in.

Things have been changing around here in the past few weeks. I've yet to figure out if its simply the weather, time, or the mere fact that I live with a 3 year old, but parenting has been the strangest, and possibly most difficult since they kicked me out of the hospital with a screaming blob that did not come with an instruction manual. So we have been adjusting our approach to certain trials and tribulations (read: tantrums) of the 3 year old in hopes that a few things may occur: ah) I will not have a completely intolerable 5yr old & bah) when we have another child (at some point which is NOT now) I will be able to deal with 2 of them a tad better and no one ends up shaken (including me). lol.

Which brings us to this morning. But before we begin, do you remember the early days? When I had a pom-(binkie, pacifier, nuk whatever)-loving bean of a child that slept, ate and shit well?


Look how cute! Her pom was almost as big as she was.... and she loved it.



And has continued to love them from birth until now, at 3yrs and 3 months old. Now, I have been told before that I should make her give up the pom. That I was in for trouble by letting her keep it.... its for babies and whatnot. Well, there have been tons of reasons why I let all that fall on deaf ears and let my kid suck away on a big plastic nipple:
1. I like that she was still a baby. People make kids grow up too fast as it is.
2. my sisters had their poms for quite some time and we can attribute none of their bizzare behavior to this occurance.
3. she has always slept amazingly, and no one else was offering to come over and live/take care of her for whatever length of time it took to get her over it.
4. it keeps her quiet. you know the phrase "Put a plug in it?" WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT?
Amen.

But now, I see that something will need to be done. To say my child is strong willed is being gentle. She wants to match her poms to her pjs. She needs to have choices in poms and extra ones in hiding incase she cant find them in the night. She talks about it as though its her only comfort in the world, and god forbid we CAN'T FIND THE ONLY POM SHE WANTS TONIGHT TO SLEEP WITH. Do you see what I am getting at here?

So I have been talking to her about the pom fairy, who comes and takes the poms and gives them to the new babies, so they have them. And the pom fairy is amazing, and we will build a nest to leave the poms in and the fairy will leave a NEW Big Girl Present. Awesome! And today, we talked about how soon the fairy is coming, and when we need to make our nest and, can you guess it? Melt Down City.

The screaming. The Crying. The Pleading. Talk of never being able to sleep, and how much she doesn't like the pom fairy and nothing will be ok ever again! And when I reminded her of all the babies out there that needed poms and what would happen to them? how will they be comforted? where will their poms come from? Elliott reminded me that she is indeed my daughter:

"Then when I see the babies with the poms I will step on their fingers and then kick them!"

No, I am not kidding. That is word-for-freaking-word.

-over and out-